What do you want to do with your life? Do you tell people everyday about your dreams and goals? Many don’t do this. Many also don’t achieve their dreams and goals. Oftentimes, these are the same people. Here’s one thing you can do tomorrow to increase the probability of achieving your dreams.
Talk a Big Game.
That’s it. Just talk a big game, and you will have taken your first step towards taking over the world. Talking a big game does not mean impractically pontificating and ego stroking. But what it does mean is that even when you have a semblance of an idea, a tiny connection, you need to tell people. Because here’s what happens:
- You build self-esteem and positive momentum
- You make mental connections you’d otherwise not make
- You get a feedback loop from smart friends who want the best for you
- Your idea will mature and evolve
- You might accidentally fall into a series of circumstances that lead to execution
Bottom line: Talking a big game leads to planning a big game. That’s why you do it!
Why Some People Don’t Talk a Big Game
- I don’t want to be “that guy.” You know the “talker.” Nobody wants to be the talker. You shouldn’t either. So after you talk the big game, follow up. Make your actions consistent with your speech. (That’s the tough part.) If you do it right, you’ll live even bigger than you talk.
- I don’t want my idea stolen. Almost universally a bullshit excuse. Successful people preach the principle of telling your story to anyone willing to listen. Most ideas are commodities. It’s the people that make all the difference. If you have a good idea, tell everyone.
- I’m afraid of failure and criticism. At least these people are honest. This is really the only reason why people don’t talk a big game. But when you shed your fears, you create possibility.
Psychological Underpinnings-The Self-fulfilling Prophesy
Talking a big game creates a self-fulfilling prophesy. Robert Merton defines self-fulfilling prophesy in Social Theory and Social Structure:
“The self-fulfilling prophecy is, in the beginning, a false definition of the situation evoking a new behavior which makes the original false conception come ‘true’.”
The 3 Benefits of Talking a Big Game
- Narrows and focuses your goals
- Creates social pressure to act
- Enables people to help you by building your capability or introducing you to relevant contacts
My Service to You
If you are reading this, that means I want to help you achieve your dreams. Email, text, tweet them. I promise to gift you a monthly “nudge.” elliott.garlock@yahoo.com.
Benjamin Franklin was a stud–successful entrepreneur, brilliant statesman, prolific writer, notable inventor, ladies man. As Walter Isaacson writes, Washington and Jefferson were monumental, unapproachable. They were aristocratic. They were “landed gentry.” Franklin, on the other hand, was a self-made man. He earned his achievements through raw ambition, constant self-improvement, and a mixture of frugality and industry. He had maintained a distaste for formality, loved the truth above all else, and avidly supported the common citizen.
Stated differently, this dude kept it real. If alive today he’d invite you to a house party, smoke hookah, and pepper you with Socratic questions concerning the definition of freedom. He’d run a digital media empire, advise silicon valley tycoons, negotiate peace between Israel and Palestine, and cavort with underwear models during his extensive global travels. After embarrassing photos get posted to facebook, he’d write a pithy blog post with subsequent tweets justifying his lifestyle choices. His argument would overwhelm detractors with reason and hilarity. He’d be oddly accessible, and he’d definitely carry an iPhone.
The 13 Virtues:
I learned recently that Franklin lived his life by 13 virtues he defined during his 20’s. Read them slowly and intentionally. Go through your day and measure yourself against them with a pen and paper. It’s illuminating.
- Temperance: Eat not to dullness; drink not to elevation.
- Silence: Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself; avoid trifling conversation.
- Order: Let all things have their places; let each part of your business have its time.
- Resolution: Resolve to perform what you ought; perform without fail what you resolve.
- Frugality: Make no expense but to do good to others; (i.e., waste nothing).
- Industry: Lose no time; be always employed in something useful; cut off all unnecessary actions.
- Sincerity: Use no hurtful deceit; think innocently and justly, and if you speak, speak accordingly.
- Justice: Wrong none by doing injuries, or omitting the benefits that are your duty.
- Moderation: Avoid extremes; forbear resenting injuries so much as you think they deserve.
- Cleanliness: Tolerate no uncleanliness in body, clothes, or habitation.
- Tranquility: Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents common or unavoidable.
- Chastity: Rarely use venery but for health or offspring, never to dullness, weakness, or the injury of your own or anther’s peace or reputation.
- Humility: Imitate Jesus and Socrates.
You Get What You Measure:
What I find most remarkable is that Franklin methodically measured himself on these 13 virtues throughout his life. He carried a booklet every day and placed a tick mark whenever he disobeyed a virtue. Because this task in nearly impossible at the onset, Franklin focused on one virtue per week and attempted to perfect that one for that week. He rotated each virtue so over the course of a year, he had 4 cycles working on each. Talk about managing for performance!
Think. Have you ever committed yourself to such a methodical self improvement exercise with such discipline? It takes tremendous courage, self knowledge, and commitment to improvement. I think few people could do this. That’s probably why people like Ben Franklin are so rare.
Join My Experiment
I’m going to run a mini experiment for the month of July, employing Franklin’s 13 virtues to the best of my ability. Anybody is welcome to join me. I’ll create a Google spreadsheet and we can track one another. Let me know. We’ll keep each other honest! Reply to the thread (or email) if you’re down.
1. Temperance: Eat not to dullness and drink not to elevation.
2. Silence: Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself. Avoid trifling conversation.
3. Order: Let all your things have their places. Let each part of your business have its time.
4. Resolution: Resolve to perform what you ought. Perform without fail what you resolve.
5. Frugality: Make no expense but to do good to others or yourself: i.e. Waste nothing.
6. Industry: Lose no time. Be always employed in something useful. Cut off all unnecessary actions.
7. Sincerity: Use no hurtful deceit. Think innocently and justly; and, if you speak, speak accordingly.
8. Justice: Wrong none, by doing injuries or omitting the benefits that are your duty.
9. Moderation: Avoid extremes. Forebear resenting injuries so much as you think they deserve.
10. Cleanliness: Tolerate no uncleanness in body, clothes or habitation.
11. Chastity: Rarely use venery but for health or offspring; Never to dullness, weakness, or the injury of your own or another’s peace or reputation.
If you want to be mediocre, do these four things extraordinarily well. Mediocrity is a long road made up of a sequences of choices. People choose to be mediocre or remarkable everyday. What choices are you making?
Mediocrity in 4 Steps
- Make mom happy. Do what people want you to do. Measure yourself by an external scorecard (rather than an internal one.) Always seek to impress people, and meet the expectations of others (rather than your own.) Believe people when they tell you your goals are stupid or impractical.
- Do what you hate. Go get an unrewarding job. Toil all day. Do average work because you don’t care. Complain everyday. Take long lunches centered around a mundane interchange that seems to repeat and repeat and repeat like Ground Hog Day.
- Avoid befriending extraordinary people. Surround yourself with people with small worlds. Ensure they never challenge you. Be sure to focus conversations on professional sports statistics, and your weekend plans of “escaping the grind.” Don’t make plans together for how you are going to change the world. And by God don’t help each other develop action plans.
- Victimize yourself. Don’t make plans for change. Obsess over the tough competitive world and your need for security. Be monomaniacal about the unfair hand of cards you were dealt, and spend everyday dreaming and consuming power porn to fill the void.
I recently finished reading Rolf Pott’s classic travel book Vagabonding. This book will teach you how to:
- Develop the courage to go on an extended trip
- Finance your trip so you don’t spend all your savings
- Get a job while traveling to enrich the experience and break even financially
- Find free (or extremely cheap) places to sleep and eat
- Befriend people all over the world and make the most of traveling
I was astonished to find a slideshare presentation on how to hitchhike all around the world (including America.) Given how people talk about hitchhiking being a “dead art”, that the “serial killer” risk is too high, and that it is illegal; I was delighted to discover that Aaron Bell actually hosts hitchhiking competitions across America.
“The flesh of your mother sticks between my teeth”
–A common taunt passed down through the oral traditions of the Rapa Nui Islanders
http://journeytoforever.org/farm_library/price/Fig.36.jpg
People tend to eat people when they are starving to death. Frightening, but true. Jared Diamond parallels the decline of Easter Island (Rapa Nui) with current global ecological degradation trends. A brief history starting in 900 AD:
- 900: 20-30 people from Polynesia’s Pitcairn Islands intentionally sail 1,300 to Easter Island in small vessels that seat 5-9 people (miraculous isn’t it?)
- 900: Overall, Rapa Nui was a sufficient but not optimal location for human civilization. The island was a little colder, dryer, and lower than most islands in the Pacific. The colder water provided it only 127 fish species (vs. 1,000 in Figi.) It had sufficient fresh water reserves, but not as much as other Pacific islands. Easter Island was flush with trees, and had diverse mix of land birds and seabirds. However, it didn’t have indigenous mammals (But the colonists populated the island with chickens, dogs, pigs, and rats.)
- 900-1200: They built up to a population of 7,000 and subsisted primarily on chicken, rats, sweet potato, taro, and banana. They also ate some shell fish and porpoise, seabirds, and land birds. They also began to form into loosely federated tribes on the island with relative peace that cooperated but competed with one another.
- 1300: Villagers began constructing the enormous statues the island is famous for. The statues (moai) average 13 feet tall and weighed 10 tons. However the biggest moai was 32 feet tall and weighed 75 tons. More striking the statues bases (ahu) ranged from 300 to 9,000 tons. All of this rock was in a singular quarry, and was transported up to 1-9 miles to their end destinations at the shores.
- 1300: Villagers transported these enormous rocks by felling 75 foot palm trees and creating a roller device to move them accross the island
- 1300-1550: Village chiefs become increasingly competitive and raced to build bigger Moai and more of them. In the process, they devastated the land
- 1600: The last and largest Moai is built
- 1600: The last palm tree is felled
- 1600-1730: The tiny islands spirals into anarchy; the chiefs are overthrown, religion is abandoned, and people kill and eat each other, and then starve to death.
http://www.personal.ceu.hu/students/08/Szandra_Gonzalez/Images/easter_island_pictures.jpg
Think about what the villages couldn’t do after they cut down their last tree.
They couldn’t:
- Make Boats to fish for 160 pound, protein rich porpoises (and other large sea creatures)
- Make homes to protect themselves from the elements
- Make fires to keep warm and cook food
- Make ropes, fishing nets and other tools
- Make clothes
- Eat fruits from the trees
Eliminating the palm trees created other ecological problems:
- Soil erosion lowered their other crop yields
- Extinction of many land birds and seabirds
- Unsustainable harvesting of remaining trees, bushes, and shrubs
What do you think the villagers were thinking when they cut their last tree down?
I found this to be an eye opening mental exercise. My concerns over water pollution, overfishing, CO2 emissions, erosion, deforestation, etc became a lot more urgent after reading this story of how an economically successful, politically organized, culturally rich civilization destroyed itself in the matter of a few hundred years through greedy actions and poor foresight. It was a call to action for me, to learn more about the green movement, and figure out what I can do to lead a change.
Learn more at Wikipedia, Collapse, Big History, and Green History of the World by Clive Ponting
Map
Different framework for 21st century value creation. My question: Is Haque’s argument veiled communism?
It seems that people who really like this talk are the same people who ask the question: “Is growth really, really what we want?”
One of his is arguments is “outcomes, not incomes.” What he means is that revenue, gross profit, gross margin, return on equity, and the other key financial metrics are not going to create value in the 21st century. Instead institutions need to focus on the “outcomes” of their actions. Does your operating behavior make people’s lives better?
If you watched this, I’d love your thoughts. My gut on this was that he is outlining a vision for more innovative capitalism that operates on a different set of principles than the one of the past (suck up resources, extract value out of them, move on.) I don’t think he’s a communist, but he might be. I’ll need to watch it again and read more.
http://www.darwah-group.com/ppp/concept/kies/jpg/maxi/0.771755001182709006.jpg
Look for an Ass Kicking
I wrestled for one year when I was an awkward, chubby, pubescent 13 year old. (Not much has changed. lol) At first, my teammates kicked the crap out of me everyday. It sucked. I wanted to quit after two weeks, but reasoned I should tough it out for the sake of “character development.” We would run miles in garbage bags, do push ups into infinity, run “suicides”, do sets of 1,000 sit ups. Then we’d do technique training and spar. This is where the ass kicking really began. It was exhausting, but it made me stronger. I was never the best wrestler, but competitors stopped taking me for granted towards the end, and I even won a few matches.
Why Business is like Wrestling
Both business and wrestling require conditioning, training, finesse, and commitment. It takes a ton of reading and learning to understand a business to inform good decision making. You need to synthesize volumes of data, and pull out trends with clarity. You need to go deep on your customers and understand their unmet needs and purchase barriers. You need to visit dozens of retailers and understand your trade dynamics. You need to meet with dozens of colleagues in different functions and learn about their internal and external perspectives on the business. It’s not easy. I like to wrestle with business problems. Business isn’t ballet. It’s an aggressive intellectual wrestling match where the smartest and strongest win–and everybody else is helplessly pinned to the ground.
The Jack Welch Approach (Debate as a Leadership Tool)
Jack Welch particularly inspired my business as wrestling philosophy. I read Welchs’ book Winning a couple of years ago. I embrace a few of his tactics he used to to create a culture of intellectual inquiry and rigorous debate.
- Ferociously debate ideas with colleagues. The best ideas come out of creative teamwork. If you study the champions of business, you always hear stories of colossal personalities sparring with one another using argument to converge on the right business strategy. Role models include: Steve Jobs, Donald Keough, Warren Buffett, Steve Ballmer, Rupert Murdoch, the list is endless.
- Attack ideas, not people. Many people confuse the difference between attacking an idea and attacking a person. This is the key reason why we don’t see a lot of debate among the low ranks of corporations. People are afraid they’ll get branded an “argumentative, anti-collaborator.” In a teamwork obsessed decision by consensus culture (which most companies with over 500 employees are), an anti-collaborative reputation is dangerous for promotion and job security.
- Listen, Listen, Listen. When somebody is speaking, listen. They are probably saying something intelligent. A lot of folks are hot headed and like to debate because it’s “fun.” Of course it’s fun, but that’s not why you do it. You debate to learn, to sharpen ideas, and to inform decisions. It doesn’t matter how smart you are. Usually the best ideas come from other people, not you. So, listen when they speak
- Commit ideas to writing. It’s easy to spot a bad idea in writing. Try to write your good ideas down. You’ll usually discover your “good idea” sucks on the first attempt. Seek input from colleagues. Rewrite it a couple of times, and you’ll have a great idea.
- Structure some meetings as “debate sessions” rather than “information downloads.” People hate meetings because they are unbearably boring and unrelated to growing share or building the organization. It’s either sitting through a semi-relevant PowerPoint or doing a “team update to see what everybody else is working on.” Not a productive hour of value creation. Alternatively, set up an hour to debate the merits of a core strategy. Request each individual contribute to the discussion. Moderate it, and allow the good ideas to flourish. You’ll see how motivated your colleagues get when you demand they express all the brilliant ideas they were too shy or indifferent to express.
- Play devil’s advocate. Good ideas become great ideas when they are challenged. When somebody says something you broadly agree with, ask yourself: “What’s the weakness in that position?” If you find one, attack. It will make everyone a stronger leader and thinker. It will also enable a better decision. And, better decisions made consistently over time lead to sustained success. Do you want sustained success?
Muhammad Yunus Speaks at Google
Muhammad Yunus innovated the microfinance model (lending small sums of money to the poor) 25 years ago in Bangladesh. He is the key leader who reframed the global poverty alleviation discussion around empowerment and belief in the poor vs. dependency and cynicism. Here are three “takeways” if you don’t have time to read the book.
- Don’t train the poor. Empower them with access to capital. Yunus cynically describes how training programs prop up international aid institutions with employment and tasks to keep international aid workers busy without providing constructive improvement to the poor. Oftentimes the poor are intimidated by training programs, and the programs can highlight there illiteracy or lack of aptitude, which further discourages them. Yunnus argues that the poor have a “survival instinct” and that if you give them capital, they will deploy it efficiently to generate income. As they make their own lives better, they will naturally seek out training that they want and will even pay for. It’s not that training isn’t important. It’s essential, but training comes later in the solution, not at the beginning.
- It’s access to capital, not rapid population growth that primarily keeps poor people poor. To be clear rapid population growth is a problem. However, the solution is not to focus on family planning. Instead, solutions should focus on providing capital to the poor who can then use that money to generate increasing income over time, educate themselves, and educate their children. As women increase their income and education level, they choose to have less children because want to provide a better standard of living and education to the children they have.
- When you help women, you help families and societies. Yunnus discusses how women in Bangladesh were historically excluded from the financial system. He also explains that poverty strikes women hardest because: “if one of the family members has to starve, it is an unwritten law that it will be the mother” (72). When women earn a little extra they invest that money first in their children and second in their home. Men tend to invest in themselves first.
How the lending system works
- Members form into a 5 person lending group.
- Each member of the lending group must take training on Grameen lending and repayment principles and pass an oral examination to be eligible for a loan. If one member fails, they all must retake the test
- Only two people get loans immediately. After they prove they can repay over a 6 week period, other group members are permitted to borrow.
- If one group member is unwilling or unable to pay back a loan, the entire group becomes ineligible to borrow larger sums in the future. This creates tremendous social pressure for groups to support each other and keep each person on track.
Repayment terms:
- Loans last one year
- Installments are paid weekly
- Repayment starts one week after the loan
- Interest rate is 20%
- Repayment amounts to 2 percent of the loan amount per week for 50 weeks
- Interest payments amount to 2 taka per week for every 1,000 taka of the loan amount
Check out www.couchsurfing.com. Awesome travel site. Believe it or not, it will surpass 1 million users globally in March.
The Big Idea
Find people with similar interests and passions who live in cities you plan to visit. Meet them online and request to sleep on their couch and hang out with them for a negotiated period of time.
My Introduction to Couch Surfing
My hippie, Italian friend introduced me to couchsurfing during college. I first (unsuccessfully) couchsurfed Pamplona, Spain. I couldn’t find the meet up place for my host (I didn’t have a cellphone, I couldn’t find the address in the commotion of the festivities, and my Spanish is terrible–uno, dos, huh? I ended up “roughing it” in Pamplona for 35 hours.
A few months ago I successfully couchsurfed in Denver, CO during a short weekend stay with a delightful lady. We hung out with her friends, enjoyed great conversation, and she even had a blow up mattress for me. After that, I’ve just been waiting for a couchsurfing request so I could reciprocate the generosity. It recently came.
Couchsurfing for a Job
I got this email on couchsurfing a few weeks ago:
Hi Elliott!
I will be driving through Cincy and wanted to check out
the city because I might be moving there soon. I was
wondering if your couch is available? I also saw you
work for P&G, how do you like it? I am in contact
with the marketing dept about a job. Perhaps you can
give me a couple pointers and insights. Let me know
if you have something.Thanks a lot!
Matt
After reading this I thought:
- Hell yeah, I’ll host this guy; it’s my solemn couchsufing oath
- I would definitely hire this guy for any job because of his resourcefulness and courage to send me this note. He just proved he’s a creative problem solver and go getter.
- I hope he isn’t a serial killer because he could find me if he wanted to.
The Couch Surf Visit
Matt rolled into my place Saturday. I took him around Cincinnati to show him the town. We dined, drank coffee, shopped, spoke with local merchants, dropped into an informal work party, and dropped by a local bar. In the morning we grabbed some pancakes at IHOP with my buddy, and he was off.
Tips on Couchsurfing Safety and Etiquette
- Bring your host a present or treat them to a meal (Matt brought me two books he thought I’d like based on my profile.)
- ID you guests using various social portals before you disclose your address (email, facebook, linked in, etc)
- Meet your guest in a public place first to conduct the “serial killer test” before taking them to your couch
Takeaways
- Couchsurfing is an awesome way to meet cool people who index highly on the personality trait “a person open to new experiences”
- It’s a good way to develop potential friendships you’d otherwise never develop
- Be smart about who you let sleep on your couch
- Couchsurfing may just lead you to your next job
Do You Want to Hire Matt?
If you have the authority to hire Matt, you can find him here on Twitter. You can also contact me to get his email address.
